Fretting the Small Stuff

Sticks and Stones

One of my favorite bloggers is Andrea Scher of Superhero Journal.  And not just because we have the same first name.  Recently she announced that she would be allowing artists and writers and whoever to contact her to sponsor her blog (see Blog Redesign and Sponsors*).  When I read it I thought, cool, she's changing her design.  I'm sure it will be bright and colorful.  I didn't think twice about ads or the impact on her blog.  Apparently, some of her readers disapproved of her sudden "corporatism" and went on the attack.  Some of the criticism was insightful and others were downright nasty and mean without consideration for the person who shares her life with the world.  Anyone who has read her blog for some time knows that she is an insightful and positive individual.  She thinks things through but makes decisions with her heart.  She surrounds herself with beauty and shares it on her blog. 

After an inordinate number of comments, she wrote another thoughtful post (see Empathy) about her reasons for blogging and her struggle with parenting. She tied the two aspects together to help those questioning her understand her choices.  For the most part the comments held together as supportive, inspired, and loving with the exception of one nasty commenter.  I commented, before this unhappy individual spat her anger and frustration, and I told her how meaningful her blog was to me.  Certainly I was not sucking up (as I am not now) and genuinely feel her writing enlightens and inspires me like no other person has on the Internet.  After all, I believe it is important to give praise when it is due.

There is a larger problem here.  Why do "anonymous" individuals feel that they can attack so viciously over the Internet.  Would they say those venomous words in person?   I think not.  I've had other friends who blog been the target of some pretty nasty attacks and applaud them for standing up for themselves while still being the bigger person.  I'm sure Andrea will do the same by spreading her love and concern for those with such hate in their souls.

My blog has a small readership and as of yet, I have not received criticism.  I suppose as I talk more about our parenting choices and my pregnancy, I'll open myself to attack.   On my other blog and more specifically on Youtube, a video I had put up of my three legged dog received some nasty comments.  Rather than respond, I had a knee jerk reaction and deleted the comments.  After all the love, sweat and tears, I did not want a video of Finny to be associated with haters.  His life is short on this earth and I would rather have him surrounded by love than hate, even if the hate is toward The Prof and me and our very personal decision to amputate his leg after a cancer diagnosis.

Blogs are full of disclosing personal decisions, hard ones.  They are filled with tears and laughter that are shared with the world to read.  Hopefully, those who open themselves to this world are received with kindness and praise when one shares her ideas.  If those decide to disagree, perhaps constructive criticism without ad hominem attacks would serve us all better.  After all, life is short.  Let's have it be sweet.   

So Many Words

Lately my mind spins like a top.  There are so many worries, concerns, joys, and celebrations I have to share and express and yet I have such little energy these days  Each moment is a time to focus on the now.  To revel in the changes within my body and soul.  I can't say that I am having a profound epiphany and I can't say that I've become more centered or grounded.  But there is something small that I can feel.  I hate to say it's a sense of purpose because I've always felt I have a purpose.  The feeling is not one where I can pinpoint a word or label the feeling because it changes from day to day.  Sometimes it's a sense of peace, other times a frantic OH SHIT! when I realize The Prof and I have to pull ourselves together and love and be responsible for another human being forever and ever.  The magnitude of that feeling?  Just wow. 

Other times I feel like I am in the middle of an outdoor concert in a field somewhere in the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont where I have gone to so many crazy reggae and rock concerts.  And at this concert I am spinning to the music and feeling joy and fear as I spin faster and faster.  Sometimes the spinning slows down and I can take in the music and good cheer and other times,  I just want lay in the grass and watch the big expanse of the sky. 

Honestly, I don't find these sensations bad or scary.  I think that they are real and part of the change in our lives that is just so profound, I can barely describe it in so many words.

Raise Your Hand If You Didn't Go to Blogher

Nah, this post isn't about Blogher.  I've been following all the posts and photographs from the big weekend (with a twinge of jealousy) and it's on the brain.  But HURRAH for women (and apparently a few men) getting together to encourage, learn(ish), and have fun.  Maybe one day I'll make it out there.

Now you might be wondering with recent news if this will turn into a "mommy blog".  Well, of course not! I'm too ADD to focus on one topic.  Although that might change with a small human in our lives who takes up 100% of our focus and attention.  Right now, I can't even fathom that part.  The idea that a little human life is growing inside me blows me away from time to time.  The responsibility of being healthy and strong and positive can be overwhelming.  And being the hippy chick that I am, I try to keep the world positive around me.  But it is hard when I work in an environment that can be acutely stressful from time to time.  So what is a girl to do? 

I'm proud that I did a two day hike this weekend and felt good.  Good might be a stretch.  My legs and feet don't agree that they felt so good.  In fact me walking through a parking lot of a small town restaurant looked as if I lacked the capacity to bend my knees.  Sexay.  My cardiovascular health is surprisingly well, healthy.  I didnt feel like dying ONCE!  The trail sucked though because there were no views except for a few meadows, and apparently the park service doesn't believe in trail maintenance (unlike the Adirondacks, Green Mountains, White Mountains, Wasatch Mountains, et cetera) so there were many fallen trees to climb over on the trail.   And very prickly bushes which caused numerous scratches on my legs.  Those cuts and scratches thereby FORCED me to wear stockings on Monday (I almost wrote stalking, God I'm smart) which is not pleasant when it is hot and humid.  But oh I sacrifice for my clients.

Have I introduced you to my narcolespy and morning sickness?  Finally I'm getting to the point where I can keep my eyes open for minutes at a time and not once in the last week has my head slammed on my desk.  But the barfing?  Ew.  And without much warning.  I take it as a sign as the hormones are working so I don't complain too much.  Just a little.  Is that acceptable?  Seriously, I'll never be accused of being a martyr. 

I was about to say something else...OH!  Our home improvement projects are underway and guess what?  We are PAYING someone else to do the work.  I know, fancy.  I want to do a little happy dance to know that we'll have a gorgeous deck, central a/c, a non-leaky chimney, a third bedroom, and a retiled shower all within the next three to four months.  I'm getting teary now.  Beh-bye ghetto house!!   

Next to come:  War with the Neighbors and The Great Kitten Rescue of Aught Eight. 

Foot Tapping Has Stopped

Noisy Inquiring minds want to know.  What is this news about what she speaks?  I saw a kitten picture yesterday.  Perhaps she is adopting a cute fuzzy little kitteh.  Well, yes she is.  And that is a whole separate post that she will share later because honestly it is the BEST! STORY! EVER! 

And why is she speaking in the third person?  Has she found out she is royalty and all fancy and shit?  Unfortunately, no, the only type of royalty she could be is a royal pain the arse.  Oh, such funny stuff.

The news?  Do you really want to know?

....

....

Why yes,you do!  I am with child.  Now how fast was that?  Thank god for birth control all those years.  And WOOT! we are excited but remember that this is Fretful (see that third person coming back?), and she is not an overly enthusiastic person.  So yeah, there it is in writing and in all of it's glory: 

Fretful is pregnant. 

I Have News

But I am not going to share...yet.  Because a certain friend who reads this blog has NOT returned my phone calls and I would prefer to tell said friend over the phone and NOT have him learn of said news over the blog.  Understand?  I'm sure you can guess what it is but in all fairness to said friend, I will wait.  Impatiently.  Tapping my foot with my arms folded.  Perhaps glaring a little at my phone.  Hint hint.

Mystery Woman

Who is this mysterious woman (okay little kitteh)?  Find out later when the Fretful One has the energy to write about it. 

A Glimpse into my World

I apologize for the sparse posting but big things are happening at Casa Fretful and hopefully I will be able to disclose such information very soon.  That being said, my lips are sealed!

But what is going on right now, you might ask?  Well, The Prof, Dutch Girl (a friend), and I are going backpacking this weekend.  Oddly enough, it was my idea.  I'm feeling claustrophobic in the city limits and I'll be getting more than enough city when we travel next month to Scandinavia.  What this body needs is a weekend in hiking boots, sleeping in a tent, and cooking those little freeze dry meals with our little camp stove.  And when I say little, I mean light as a feather but so awesome.  I love shit like that.  The other thing I love about camping (and no, this is not car camping) is making lists of all the supplies we'll need.  Granted we are only out for one night but part of the fun for me is going through all of our outdoor gear, lining it up, and divvying it up amongst our group.  I'm giddy just thinking about it! 

The hike is actually short and typically we would not need to stay over night but like I said, I need the fresh air, the woods, the view and hopefully the silence until the inevitable...The Prof begins to snore. 

Mosiacs, Flickr, and No Wordiness Words

My creation
Originally uploaded by andreerah

I was perusing Emma's blog and got sidetracked over to Karrie's blog and then back to Emma's blog and then to Kelly's blog.  There is much to be said about Google and their daycare policy.  Wow.  But I'm not commenting about that.  Because I am too lazy and blah blah blah I want to talk about pictures.  Kelly over at Hey, Ho Kelly Go had this neat project on her blog so OF COURSE I STOLE IT WITH MY GRIMY LITTLE HANDS!!!  If you want to distract yourself for minutes on end, you need to do the following:

The Concept: a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search. b. Using only the first page, pick an image. c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s Flickr Toys: mosaic maker. The Questions: 1. What is your first name? 2. What is your favorite food? right now? 3. What high school did you attend? 4. What is your favorite color? 5. Who is your celebrity crush? 6. Favorite drink? 7. Dream vacation? 8. Favorite dessert? 9. What you want to be when you grow up? 10. What do you love most in life? 11. One Word to describe you. 12. Your flickr name. You end up with this:

1. Above the San Andreas fault, Gorman, and Frazier Park, 2. homemade berry ice cream, 3. South Burlington High School, 4. stealthily, the queen's mad-eyes...♫ wildilife from zimbabwe ♫, 5. 4978-John Cusack, 6. Orange Wine, 7. Big guys, 8. strawberry rhubarb pie, 9. i'm no superman (alternative title: bark if it hurts here), 10. he loves me/he loves me not., 11. Quirky Purple Cat with Fancy Cane, 12. Cat in Basket (if you like on "my creation" up above", you can get the links to the original photographs).

So there!  Go nuts, folks!!!

Stuff and Things

Wow, that's a title that brings you right in, doesn't it?  Also, alternative title of this blog: Ferreting the Small Stuff.  Uncovering the Small Stuff!  Welcome to Fretful's blog where we watch her point out the obvious!  Compelling, eh?

• Is it totally wrong that I'm thankful a new client didn't show up? I can't handle three clients today.  More about that later.  Much later.  Also, why must new carpeting smell so toxic?  I can feel the very few remaining brain cells petering out.  Halp us!
• In case you haven't noticed, I haven't updated you on my weekend travels to Boston because, psst, guess why?  I'm too lazy!  The Prof and our friends' 18 month old are now best friends though.  Not only can he get down on the floor with any cat and be on their level, he can do that with toddlers too. 
• Tonight is the last program with the kid we mentor.  Thank. God.  And guess what?  It's only for two hours, not at a zoo (where apparently she decided she DID NOT want to look at animals anymore.  And that's totally ironic that we, being animal lovers, would get the one kid who hates them), and it's in town.  She'll hang out with The Prof so I can sit there and try not to be too narcoleptic. 
• And here's where I talk about my cat.  My little Shrimpycat is entirely too demanding.  Whenever she hears cheese, she insists that we give her a small corner and it must be a very precise.  I gave her a piece, perhaps a quarter or so in diameter.  She sniffed it, gave it a lick, and then ignored it.  This happened several times until I broke it into an eighth of a inch big.  Apparently, that is the right size for her.  Lesson learned from this probably boring cat story:  I am my cats' bitch.
• It's time for my stroll to the bathroom.  I hope you enjoyed all the ferreting that goes around here and you didn't get hit by any of the dirt I kicked around.