Fretting the Small Stuff

Plans! And Superficial!

Superficial #1
A week from Saturday I will be driving down to Cleveland with a friend to meet the fabulous Bossy.  We are the lost stop on her Excellent Road Trip and I am very excited to finally meet her.  Everyone who has met her so far thinks she is just as funny and wonderful as she is in her blog.  With the meet-up a week and a half away, I have to plan what to wear!  We are going to a wine bar in the cool part of the city and it could be 70 degrees or 30.  I know Bossy could probably not care at all about what I look like but the superficial part of me (which is like 78% of my being) likes to plan what I am going to wear.  So I think I might need the internet's help.  This weekend I am going to try on a variety of outfits, take pictures, and then I will put the post up sometime next week for your assistance.  If you are lurking out there, please delurk and help a woman out! It is mucho important to feed my superficial tendencies. 

Superficial #2:
Finally, after months of putting it off, I took pictures of my hair and sent them off to Whoorl who will give me a consult on my hair.  If you are not familiar with Whoorl, she is a lovely and talented blogger out in California (where I wish the Prof and I lived) who gives advice on how one should style, cut, and/or color one's hair.  I answered a bunch of questions about my hair and then I sent current pictures and some older ones where my hair is long and not styled like a mullet.  Really, it's not deliberately a mullet but because it's growing out it has mullet tendencies.  Is that possible?  Can your hair have tendencies?  Two of the pictures I sent are from law school and I know for sure I am drunk in one picture and possibly tipsy in the other.  Was I sober at all in law school?  Preppy Girl?  Can you help me out on this?  No?  I didn't think so.  Okay so the Whoorl Hair Consult will be in May (I think) and you can vote on how I should style my hair!  I'll keep you posted exactly when that is.

Shallow and Frivolous

That's me!  Yesterday I received my Harper's Bazaar magazine in my mailbox partially iced over.  Could the mailman possibly fold it and shut the cover?  I guess not.  Anyway, after our romantic dinner in the dining room, all candlelit and shit, we moved to the living room to watch Lost because god forbid we miss an episode of Lost.  While I was "watching" (please use air quotation marks), I decided to peruse my magazine and became engrossed in the overpriced fashions and really really pretty shoes.  Boy do I love me some shoes.  Especially ones that cost more than my entire collection of shoes, and that's a lot.  Of course, if I could afford such shoes, and I wore said shoes to work, I'm sure I couldn't say to my low income clients, don't you think my Prada shoes are pretty?  No, that's not right and honestly, I would rather wear Dansko clogs and my other pair of Dansko clogs than super spiky high heels even though they totally kick some ass.   So during lunch, I perused Dooce very specifically because I saw SHOES! in my Google Reader and of course, had to take a closer look.   So then that led me to check out that shoe brand which led me to Zappos which led me on a hunt for shoes nothing like the shiny fancy ones in Harper's or the cute little flats purchased by Dooce.  What kind of shoes could I be looking for to slip on my size seven feet?  Well, Pumas, of course.  But not just any Pumas.  The green suede Pumas I bought in the late 90's and left in Salt Lake City.  I miss those green suede Pumas and for the life of me can't find them.  I consulted Preppy Girl because not only does she own more Lacoste shirts than a Hampton socialite, she has several Pumas I covet.  Yes, Preppy Girl, I covet your Lacoste shirts and Pumas.  And incidentally, did you know that Puma has a line of shoes that cost $200?  That is wrong because if I recall correctly I paid only forty bucks for mine.  So now I'm on a mission for shoes, which, of course, is a very noble pursuit.  It is.      

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Update!  I found the shoes!  They are called Puma Flippers!  And they warrant many exclamation points!  Should I get them?  And yes I like pink.

For Your Information

I am feeling very kick ass in my high black boots, rust colored corduroy skirt, and black sweater.  Just so you know.   Now you can go about your business again.

Dinner and a Lesson

No, not like the after school special lesson, although that would be AWESOME!  This is a lesson on how you can barely dress them up but not take them out.  Them being us.  Because we are hicks!  And slobs! And apparently human vacuums.  Ack!

Let us begin with the birthday boy's dinner was fabulous.  A new restaurant for both of us, it knocked our socks off. The environment felt elegant but cozy and the food tasted divine!  The Prof had a seafood and ravioli dish and I ate a gnocchi eggplant concoction that was perfectly seasoned.  I. Love. Food.  For an appetizer we shared fontina cheese in a pastry with an apple chutney on top.  Wow.  We ended the night with tiramisu and a coffee. Yum. 

So what is the deal?  Why can't you take us out for a lovely evening over candlelight and a bottle of Italian wine?  Why?  Because, when we shared the appetizer and the dessert, we happened to finish it, in some folks opinion, rather quickly.  And our waitress remarked on how fast we finished both dishes. 

WOW!  You must have really like it!  You sure inhaled that quickly!

Sheepishly we ate our next course very.......slowwwwllllyyyyy.....  Take a bite, pause, take a bit pause.  As opposed to shovelshovelSHOVELOhmygodthistastesAWESOME! (perhaps this might explain my girth).  By the time dessert rolled around (the dessert which was on the house because it was the Prof's birthday - free!), we forgot to pace ourselves and shoveled that down too and alas, the snarky comments by the waitress.  Again, my face turned red (well, partly due to consuming half a bottle of wine).   

Fine, we eat too fast.  I already knew it but did she have to comment on it?  Twice?  And this brings me to a dream I had when The Prof and I first began dating (dating sounds very 1950's, how about going steady? Now that's modern).  Essentially, the dream concluded with me determining that The Prof was too suave (again, what's with the terminology I use in my dreams and real life???) for me to date.  Now for those of you who know him in real life:

STOP LAUGHING AND GET OFF THE FLOOR!  IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY!!!

Okay it is because if you out there knew him in real life, you would know he is far from suave.  He enjoys backpacking, being a geek, and constantly moving.  I suspect a little ADD in him.  Fashion is the LAST thing on his mind.  Case in point, I went with him to pick out glasses and it was a struggle to get him to buy a pair of more hip glasses.  He did but it was like wrestling (I want to say rassling because that pronunciation is funnier) with a fractious cat.  And believe me, I know about rassling fractious cats.  Finally, he realized he looked freakin' awesome in those glasses and purchased them.  Success!

So what is the moral to or lesson of this story?  The Prof and I are NOT suave and perhaps a lesson on not shoveling our food down our throats might be in order.  Perhaps?

By Andrea

A Very Special Holiday Post

I know you have been waiting to hear about my Christmas with JUST The Prof because after all, everything is about ME! ME! ME!  Just so long as we get that straight.  We did?  Great.  Just to refresh your recollection (see I threw a law thing in there), we spent the holidays in Northwestern Pennsylvania for the first time.  Ever.  And in my 33 years, it was my first year not spending Christmas with my parents.  Initially, I felt sad about it but then I realized, hey! I'm a grownup now (the jury is out on that one, I know) and soon I'll be having my own family (scary thought, again, I know) so I need to be independent!  And start my own traditions!  So, we did.  We bought a tree, decorations, stockings (I always want to spell it stalkings) and determined our very own holiday destination.  Would we open stalkings stockings first or eat breakfast because eating is super important to us?  When would we eat our great holiday feast including parsnips, beets, and of course, the traditional carving of the Tofurkey?

Well what did we do?  Huh?  HUH?  We ate breakfast and then opened our stockings.  Let me tell you, Santa Prof was generous this year.  He bought me all sorts of fun things like CDs to burn my 5,000 pictures taking up space on my ancient laptop, cute boy cut underwear, which I'm wearing right now, and various other fun presents.  Rather than waiting to open our gifts, we tore right into them.  No need to spend an hour or so hanging out.  Of course we bought presents for the critters; we can't deprive them of the joy of the holidays.  Shrimpycat loved her catnip mouse and spent the next hour licking, biting, and generally trying to destroy it.  Success!  Drool hung down Finnegan's jowls as I held his treats before his eyes.  Success again!  The other kitties ignored the catnip toys but nearly beat each other up trying to get at the Pounce treats.  Partial success?

And ah, gifts galore for the humans.  The Prof did well.  He bought me books, housewares that were inspired by my Midwestern Modern book (also a holiday gift), and the BEST! jeans ever.  Now I would love to buy a pair of 7 for all Mankind, Citizens for Humanity, or Chip and Pepper jeans.  But, (an my big butt), I don't quite fit in them at this point so instead, I asked for a pair of curvy jeans from the Gap.  I had no idea what the styles were or color or look but I figured curvy translated into wide ass and that they would fit.  So The Prof spent time and looked around and compared and picked out the best jeans that I LOVE!  I really truly love the jeans!  They are the perfect fit, color, shape, material, style, EVERYTHING!  Plus he purchased the cutest softest pajama pants ever (The Prof has good taste, shocking, I know).  The style is darling.  Seriously, when I drop the weight (shhhh!  no weight talk, fatty!), he will go with me to the National Jean Company and help me pick out a new pair of fancy pants (I really wanted to say fancy pants.  FANCY PANTS! FANCY PANTS!) 

So what happened next?  I mean the holidays aren't all about buying me stuff (oh yes they are!).  We decided to head down to the peninsula to take a walk.  Originally, we thought we'd walk along the paved path but then we changed our minds and headed for the Sidewalk Trail.  We walked from one point to the other (1.25 miles) and then headed to the other trail called the Sand Dune trail (um, not right but let's not argue about the name, I can't remember).  It was quiet and relaxing; we only heard a few birds here and there.  When we reached the juncture, The Prof noticed a few critters out on the ice in a pond.  Upon closer inspection, we realized that there were three beavers out for a fishing expedition.  Rather than heading back, we got all Jeff Corwin and shit and hid in the brush trying to see the little buddies better.  We watched as they dove into the water and slid up on the ice with their delectable treasures of small silver fish.  They repeated the dive, swim, and eat routine for the fifteen minutes we observed them until we decided it was time for us to leave.  I must admit that was one of the highlights of the day.

After showering and napping (hooray for naps!), we began making our feast which included The Prof's special mashed potatoes, parsnips and Brussels sprouts, pickled beets, homemade cranberry sauce, stuffing, mushroom gravy, and of course, what our forefathers consumed:  a fresh torfurkey.  And can I say it?  I don't like turkey or torfurkey.  The sides are enough for me.  We drank wine and then watched a movie before heading to bed for a long winter's nap. 

So how did this holiday rate for me?  Perfect in every way.

Your Token New Year Resolutions

In no particular order of importance:

1. Sleep more.  Of course that is an absurd resolution and sounds really lazy but truly it's not completely lazy.  Just a little bit.  Ever since I can remember, I've needed A LOT of sleep.  If I don't get enough, I'm terribly cranky and moody and that doesn't make for a nice spouse.  Plus, I heard you burn calories when you sleep so 12 HOURS HERE I COME!
2. Eat more.  Fresh, organic, locally grown vegetables that is.  I've been pretty bad lately about eating prepackaged food.  It doesn't matter that it's organic, I shouldn't be eating much at all that's packaged.  Why?  Because it is still a tad processed and all that packaging can't possibly be recycled.  So there.
3. Exercise more.  Duh.  I have an exercise buddy!  Hurray! One day a week I will dedicate to my fitness progress.  Perhaps a Friday?
4. Reduce my carbon footprint.  I will continue to recycle, compost, buy less, bike more, and reuse as much as possible. 
5. Beautify my surroundings.  The Prof and I are almost finished updating our house.  When we purchased the house, it, honestly, was quite hideous.  We ripped out carpeting, tiled the kitchen floor, drywalled every wall, replaced all the windows (ourselves), and painted in fun colors that fit our taste.  I've shortened curtains, purchased decorating books (I love Amy Butler's Midwestern Modern) and magazines (Atomic Ranch), and am looking to the spring for some great garage sales of folks who still own their pristine furniture from the late 50's and 60's! 
6. Spend less.  I enjoy shopping.  I admit it.  Of course that contradicts with my fourth resolution to reduce my carbon footprint and of course buying crap I don't need certainly doesn't fit in with that goal.  So the two are basically intertwined. 
7. Save more moneh!  See #4 and #6.
8. Be nice.  I tend to be a bit judgmental, snarky, and sarcastic.  I must stop.  Yes, I can be a nice person but I need to be nicer.  More forgiving and that's hard given the family from which I was raised.  I think it's an Irish thing.  We just don't forgive.  But I'll try. 
9. Reach out.  My track record for keeping in touch with long lost friends is abysmal.   I hate that about me.  When I think of all the friends who I don't talk to any more because it's sooooo hard to call and write, I want to kick the ground and beat myself up a little.  No excuses.  Call, write, and send old fashioned cards and letters!  On recycled paper, of course.

That's it for now.  I have a few other goals such as write, dance, and drink more water but those aren't really resolutions.  They are just stuff and things about which I think.

Status Post Law Prom - Part Q & A Format

Well, you (two of you maybe - it's been slow around here according to the stats) must be wondering how Law Prom went.  Did I dance until dawn?  Did I sip bubbly and say witty things to my colleagues?  Did I get thoroughly intoxicated and fall down?  No, no and maybe, almost.  My dress turned out to be the perfect choice (sorry, no photographs, WHOOPS!) and I received numerous compliments such as:  "I didn't think legal aid attorneys dressed up" (yes, bite me) and "Shouldn't you be wearing a brown sack as a legal aid attorney?" (bite me twice).   But many folks commented on the loveliness that is Fretting, or at least my dress, so hurray for $74 Ann Taylor dress.  WHOOHOO! 

Enough about my dress, what about my hair?  As you may know, I am growing my hair back out.  Also, I need to fill in my questionnaire and send it to Whoorl so she can give me her brilliant hair advice.  But I did learn from my stylist (yes, I go to a stylist - I am that fancy) that my hair should be shoulder length by the summer.  Hurray!  Whoa, segues out of control again, sorry.  My stylist tamed my mullet-esque hair into submission and gave me a lovely hairdo for Law Prom.  Because it's short and curly, she had limited options.  First, she put in 5,000 pounds of hair product and partially dried it.  Next she straightened my bangs and then lovingly curled individual sections.  Once she completed that task, she shaped the curls so they weren't individual pieces sticking straight out of my head.  Finally, she put this shellac spray on my head that smelled absolutely awful.  The odor did dissipate so it didn't follow me to the ball. 

My one comment about my hair is that I felt like I had helmet hair, sort of like the rich society ladies here in town.  It made me giggle for quite a while.  Actually, it still makes me smirk.  And do you want to know what's disturbing?  Oh yes you do, you sill goose!  I slept on this hair and likely sweat due to drunken queasy sleeping and when I woke up, My. Hair. Looked. The. Same.  Gross and scary.

Enough about me and how I looked, how about me at the actually event?  Or better yet, what did the Prof wear?  He wore his dark blue suit and the pretty new tie I bought him.  The end.  Now me at the Prom.  Well, we actually got there in time, and when I say on time, I mean we were the third or fourth couple there.  Last year we were 45 minutes late because we got lost.  Don't laugh, it happens a lot.  Another couple with whom we are friends were already there and we hung out with them for quite a while. 

Here is where I get somewhat serious and after school special theme music plays in the background.  For the first time, I felt comfortable in this sort of setting.  Perhaps it is because I feel confident with what I am doing and proud to be a legal aid attorney.  Maybe I finally don't care about impressing other people (not as if I did so much).  Maybe I actually feel I know my colleagues better, I know what to say to them, or something like that.  It felt good not have that I really don't fit in here sensation I typically have.  It's something I've felt all my life.  I can't hang out with one clique as I become extremely claustrophobic.  I know it sounds strange but ever since I was a young girl, I needed to branch out and spend time with the girl who wasn't part of the "in" crowd.  I remember one recess in fourth grade sitting on the swings with one girl and being told by Melinda (not her real name) that I could not hang out with this particular group of girls anymore because I elected to hang out with Doris (not her real name) instead.  This experience impacted me more than I realized throughout middle and high school and into my adult life in both good and bad ways.  I probably hurt some close friends because of my need to withdraw so frequently.  I am sorry for that.

Back to not so serious business, what did I drink?  Well, many glasses of Shiraz, a bottle of Yeungling (a Pennsylvania beer, not a Chinese beer as one would think from the name - or maybe that's just my stupidity), and at the bar, a milk shake (alcoholic type drink) called a Sneaky Pete.  Apparently, this beverage is named after the fact that this bar is frequented by those having extramarital affairs.  I had two and when I slammed my glass down to make a point (who the hell knows now what it was) I broke the stem of the glass in half.  This is when the Prof ushered me home for a night of loud snoring (him), Charlie horses (me), and generally malaise (both of us).  He did not drink nearly as much as I did.  Smart boy. 

What did I eat?  A salad, three bread sticks (I know!  Olive Garden type bread sticks at a snooty country club?  Who would have thought?), mushroom ravioli with vodka sauce, mixed vegetables, three cannoli, a cream puff, and three very messy chocolate covered strawberries (which the Prof took away from me because I was licking my fingers.  That's hot, right?). 

Did we dance?  Once and I thought I would puke.  I might have said loudly, WE NEED TO SPIN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION!   Yes, I began to get the spins from dancing.  That was our one and only dance because of the fearful vomit factor.  I am proud to admit that I did NOT puke at all that entire night.  Hurray me! 

Law Prom!

Tonight I will be getting all gussied up and heading to the big formal of the season:  Law Prom.  No, it's not really called prom; it's more of a dinner-dance at a fancy country club with many attorneys from the bar (not the good kind of bar where you drink, the other-YAWN-fuddy duddy one).  But guess what, folks!  This means that Fretful is going to look all festive and shit with a pretty dress and snazzy hair.  I draw the line on heals as I end up taking them off so instead I got some cute little ballet flats that almost match perfectly with the underskirt.  Oh yes, there is a underskirt.  Whee!  I even purchased Spanx stockings to hold all the jiggly parts in place. 

The Prof shall be wearing a suit with a new red silk tie I purchased for him yesterday.  New as opposed to a used one made of polyester that come way above his waistline.  The tie where the salesman sold it to me for over $20 than the sale price.  Heh?  Of course I stomped (okay chasséd) right in there and demanded my $20.10!  Okay, I asked and the salesman kindly  corrected his mistake.   But it's the principal!  Nonetheless, it was corrected and I'm going on a nonsensical tangent.  Shocking, I know.

My dress is from Ann Taylor (on sale!).  It's espresso brown (as opposed to mud brown or poop brown) with a champagne underskirt and sash to go around my delicate (ha!) waist.  The champagne goes with all the champagne I will be gulping at the law prom.  Drunk anyone?  Oh yeah.  What's more classy than getting sloshed with a bunch of colleagues.  Not much else, I can tell you that.  Hopefully, I'll have plenty of embarrassing tales to share on Sunday when I recover.   

My one must exciting thing I can't wait for:  having the valet park my 1997 Subaru Outback with all the dog hair on everything.  Sweet! 

Give Me Lots of Hair! Long beautiful hair!

After spending the last year cutting my hair shorter and shorter and even shorter, I have decided to grow it back out again.  So now I will go through the hideous stages of growing out my curly hair.  (Sigh).  I do this all.  the. time.  I get a new hair style, cut it, regrow it, cut it all off, dye it, and so on.  So what is a girl to do?  Well, I think I am going to seek the advice of Whoorl.  I'm sure she gets tons of requests but perhaps if I beg, plead and grovel, she might give me a chance!  So my next step is to take pictures of my hair then and now and see what type of response I'll get.  (Fingers crossed!)