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January 16, 2008


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I have that same conflict; I want to help but I don't want to insult someone. At the same time, I think that as you get older, you sometimes feel more invisible, so that smile could be really making someone's day. Keep it up!


I have the same conflict. What I do is walk by and say, very casually, "hey, do you need a hand with that?" the way I might say to a friend. Sometimes they'll say, "no thanks," but as often as not they'll accept.

Believe me, having my arm in a sling right now, I am loath to ask for help from anyone, but if anyone *offers* (help getting my coat over my shoulder, or pushing a door open, carring a small bag for me), I am SO thankful. Even if it just saves me 10 seconds of struggling (I can get m coat on, it just takes a while), it is really helpful and not at all insulting.


I can understand your "obsession," and your feeling bad. Sistah's right about the smiling thing, too. But I think your first instinct about offering some help wouldn't have freaked the fellow out. So yeah, next time you see someone older, wrestle their packages out of their arms and into their cars. ; )

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